It seems not long ago,
when the excitement of toy stores
the joy of making a friend in the swimming pool
hoping to be older sooner.
To be able to buy all the candy I would ever want.
I don’t remember so well now,
now that it’s at a faded distance.
Was it the first time I went to the grocery store by myself?
Maybe it was the first time
I felt the power of an engine beneath my feet
driving a hundred kilometers an hour
and a hundred more in my head.
It could’ve been the time mom trusted in me
in the deepest of her trauma
leaning on me to wipe her tears.
or was it the first time I was home alone
left responsible for myself,
and my little brother.
“Stay safe,” I tell him,
before leaving
leaving him behind,
to grow up as I did.
The cycle never really gets over.
How long does it take?
Before it becomes a chore, the feeling of growing up,
Soaked in the thrill of responsibility.
Now I know,
When I have to finish my laundry,
Make it to that therapy appointment,
Show up for a friend,
I’m hoping, hoping not to get older.
It hit me like a train.
Written by Aarthika Srinivasan for MTTN
Featured Artwork by Shivani Yadav for MTTN
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