Deliberation of a Dream: Somnia — au Incubus?

It claws at my mind, an unknown memory – tacitly plunging me to end my misery;

Calloused soles do not tread lightly, musing over lost time contritely –

I walk and walk to no end, to find my purpose, my dream to ascend!

Flailing my arms about, grasping at invisible strings, give me a release – I will be sovereign!

And when the vengeance of loss and love consumes; when wars are lost to build gilded tombs,

I will stand on that hill, marred by none; Martyred for my dream, my kingdom come.

In the darkness under a tree, my voices collude, to discourage, divert – my resolve subdue.

I tell them no, this is not to be; The fire burns too bright to give up, heed my pleas!

And yet, the failures of yesterday remain, relics of a battle that bind me in chains:

They cut into my exhausted feet, those open gashes cannot speak;

Of what they endure, of the coming reward, of the darkness they abhorr.

I scream until my ears give up; I scream until my battle is won;

I scream until I find my cause, my muse, my life – what are these tears for?

I scream until my heart is still; content and healed, lowering it’s inconspicuous hielaman.

I scream until I cannot hear anything else; I scream until my demons confess –

Where is this dream you spoke of, dear heart? Is this but a failed promise, another fresh start?

Where is that future, so golden and glorious? Has it dissolved in falsehoods – inglorious?

Give me the answers, crude as they may be; This unrest must be satiated, calmed, happy;

Why are you silent, dear heart? Has the mind spirited away, with it, will hope depart?

But darkness is transient, like the light over the mountains; It will go as it came, shrouded in shame;

Quiet, you traitor! Do you dare to speak of defeat? Cowardly is the heart that skulks near the flame;

If I have a dream, and demons beside me – let it be my fate, let destiny hold the key;

The release from this grave of buried pasts, from derelict paths, I will find peace at last.

Written by Rachana Raman for MTTN

Edited by Aayush Niraj for MTTN

Featured Image by Adobe Stock