I open my eyes,
All I can see is a blurring array of colors,
Searching for that one familiar shade of blue,
That deep, heart wrenching blue that demands you to dive,
That’s where my comfort lies,
That’s what im stuck with.
I see someone,
Wandering around with blinding yellow,
Lighting up the path as they walk through it,
Is it a first come first serve thing?
Why was I the one burdened with melancholic blue?
I strive,
To find any other wavelength that I can call home,
Maybe a deep warm orange? Serene beige?
Even a grey will suffice;
Any shade that takes me away from the memory of you,
And along with that, the memory of myself.
I’m standing in the vortex of a whirlpool,
But the water are emotions,
Emotions, I see in various hues,
I try to grab onto one of them, to find solace,
But to no avail;
Am I the vortex?
Why cant I preach self acceptance like everyone else around me?
Trying to paint myself a different shade, every chance I get,
Maybe if I just stop resisting ,
Take off the life jacket
and let myself drown into the deep blue,
I might just end up befriending some koi fish inside.
Written by Shruti Saraf for MTTN
Featured Artwork by Vishrutha Rao for MTTN
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