When I’m Gone: Day Twenty Six of NaPoWriMo

When the dust has settled,

And your tears have dried.

Look around and you will find,

That I’ve been gone a long time.

Do you watch as our ghosts waltz through the room,

Or do you sprinkle our ashes from a fire gone uncouth?

Do you reverberate with the sound of our laughter,

Or do you yell over it to make glasses shatter?

I wonder if you remember, 

Those initial texts, 

Of two individuals, smitten and coy,

Daring to indulge in this forbidden joy. 

Do you recall the playlists we made,

The songs you’d walk to

While I stumbled behind

Struggling to follow your gait?

No, of course, you don’t.

Why would you look back

When I gave you something—

Something to look forward to.

Tell me, dear,

When you’d picked me up

With a flower behind your back

Was it to make up for dropping the slack?

And as the fragrance of the flower tickled my nose,

I’d forget that I love lilies and settle for this rose.

And so, you’d think you’re off the hook,

But within me, there was a flame set afoot.

You’d curse, you’d scream, 

you’d swear I’m mean.

You’d tell me I’m delusional,

And should stop acting like a queen.

And then I’d leave for a little while

Until you’d come crawling back to me.

This power struggle we’d continue,

Like we were two kids fighting for a swing seat.

Once I learned to hone the flame,

I’d let you curl into my arms,

Till you succumbed to my embrace

Little knowing that you were to be set ablaze.

You’d caress my hair and profusely apologise,

Till I’d laugh and say,

“When I’m gone,

You’ll rethink this game twice”.

With confusion in your eyes,

You’d pout and ponder,

Was the throne you were sitting on,

Ever yours to surrender?

For days after,

We’d tip-toe around the house.

You’d treat me like a princess,

And croak around like a frog.

Day after day,

Week after week,

You’d play with me,

Like a rag, you found on the street.

And day after day,

Week after week,

The fire grew in me,

Till I couldn’t handle the heat.

So I tried to leave,

But you tried to burn me,

So I set the house on fire,

And left you to rot in your glory.

Snap out of it,

There’s nothing to reminisce,

You should be in awe,

Of the catastrophe you’re amiss.

Now you’re alone in the playground,

With smoke tendrils creeping up akin to that sinister smile,

Know that I’ve been gone, 

gone a long while.

 Written by Aditi Atreya for MTTN 

Featured Artwork by Meghna Neog for MTTN