Whether it be the ever uncertain college Goa plans or the exchanging of ‘Best Friends Forever’ bracelets in middle school, we have all warm albeit kitschy memories from expired friendships. Times change and so do relationships.
Circumstance makes friends out of strangers. Living in the same locality, attending the same tuition class, or obsessing over the same fictional character, the bonds of friendship and the circumstances at the heart of said bonds vary. Inevitably, we grow up, our interests and opinions change and wane, and subsequently, so do our bonds. There is a shift of energy; we are no longer on the same wavelength with those whom we considered our closest confidantes.
This is part and parcel of growth- a certain process in our lifetime. This journey of growth is an individual one. Personal growth is subjective, varied, and unapologetic; our current beliefs no longer align with those of our old friends. Understandable then, that we find ourselves drifting away from friends who were once considered indispensable.
Sometimes, relationships shift dynamics. You find yourself contributing more to preserve a friendship that has run its natural course. This becomes a drain on your mental health and emotions. The activities which used to be enjoyed by the both of you no longer accord the same pleasure and satiate no hunger, unabashedly indicating that what used to be a source of comfort is now a burden.
Often, the professional and intrapersonal aspects of our lives take centre stage and our interpersonal relationships suffer. Shifting to different countries, the unending cycle of examinations, or merely losing contact gradually due to the dearth of common ground. How many childhood friends are you still close to?
Isn’t it logical that distance, a lack of communication, and personal problems can result in the slow death of a friendship?
Some friendships turn toxic over time. What might have started as a beautiful kinship may end up being detrimental to one or more parties involved. How do you identify if the relationship is causing more harm than good and cut off the strings before becoming a puppet?
Even something as simple as a ‘negative vibe change’ can create a rift between friends.
How do you go about friendship if you know that an end is not just possible, but likely and sometimes inevitable?
Cherish the precious memories shared, move on with no resentment, and look forward to making new bonds. Carry hope that an extinguished relationship can be reignited but simultaneously accept that certain things are beyond our control.
Whether a friendship stands the test of time cannot be predicted, what is in our hands is the power of choice. The kind of people we choose to surround ourselves with control our evolution. Friends who force us to look at ourselves honestly and grow are ideally kept far away from the ravages of time and change. Those who support you at your weakest and act as a wake-up call when your willpower’s asleep?
They’re worth the unavoidable heartbreak.
Written by Anushka Das for MTTN
Edited by Mihika Antonia Dean for MTTN
Featured image by Daniel Barreto
Artwork by Alessandra Onalow