Story of a Naïve Girl

She had grown up with all these fantasies about coming to college. When she walked into the campus, its enormity had mesmerized her. She vividly remembers coming online ever so often only to post pictures of the huge college buildings, the beautiful food court, and her hostel room. She remembered the jealousy it drew from her friends-the ones who had enrolled in government colleges-eating things which were unpalatable and living under seeping walls. Little did she know then, that one year hence she would have a very different story to tell.

For the freshmen-this story is not about which route to take when you come to college, or what food to expect, what kind of people you will find here, or the weather. It’s about how you will survive no matter where you are from, go from loving the food to hating it, how you will end up finding friends from all over the world who share your mindset and how you will enjoy the rains when suddenly you realize that it is pouring and you’ve forgotten your umbrella.

She remembers going to Kamath Circle-bidding good-bye to her parents for the last time. As the auto drives away, she sees her mother’s eyes well up with tears. She remembers turning away immediately lest her mother see her eyes too. Retreating back she realizes that it was all good and she would meet them soon, and when she did, that she would be an ounce more responsible, smart and courageous. Her mother would then proudly say that the little girl was now all grown up.

She would forever remember the first few days of college life.

Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones at others

She saw so many events unraveling, and remembers how she judged each person. Little did she know then that she was sitting in a glass house. Soon enough, she would be doing the same things, going to the same places and how she would hate being judged.

She was coming to college for the first time. She had high expectations about what she wanted from this place, but as is the case with most things in life, reality did not meet her expectations. College life was not as ‘happening’ as it had sounded and was definitely not that much fun. Sure, it was more fun than school, but just like her fun, her responsibilities ballooned and so were the consequences were she to neglect them. Nevertheless, she experienced some of her life’s most memorable moments here. She particularly enjoyed the perks her gender had to offer-like having to avoid excruciatingly painful birthdays and a kaleidoscope of choices in men.

She was naïve. She knew that “books and friends should be few and good”, and yet made many friends. She became friends with people without analyzing them or thinking beyond emotional connections. She saw many friends change in front of her eyes and fought against it. But ultimately she learned to let go. One of the most important lessons she learned in college was that she could not bank upon anyone to stay. She would have to believe what the other person told her and when the time was right, she would discover the truth for herself. She realized that all her life she had been living in a cozy, comfortable world, and suddenly the blanket had been pulled off her, leaving her to face winter alone. Only then did she realize, one day at a time, that she was capable. Capable of losing people and in the process, finding herself.

She had her moments too. Those moments she would smile at, years later. Moments when she sneaked out after perm time and almost got caught. Moments when she had the adrenaline rush of doing something [not so advised by the authorities] and then making it back to the hostel without facing consequences. She vividly remembers how scared she was then, and what a laugh they’d had later. But most of all, she remembers the butterflies in her stomach. Getting wet and enjoying every drop that splashed on her. She remembers how the rains never stopped, and when they did how she desperately wished for them to come back. For her, the rains were a life-saver.

This was a year of many “firsts”. It was her year. It was what every coming-of-age film boasts of, except instead of watching it, she’d experienced it herself. She realized while she lived it that in the end, the college she went to didn’t matter as much as what she did there. She had learned a lot. She had learned not to trust people too easily and sometimes regretting her decisions. She realized that she would make a million friends, but few would actually remain. She realized that getting four in a subject was NOT the end of the world and that most fights could be resolved with only a little time and distance.

Most of all, she learned to discover herself again and again. She had fallen into a love-hate relationship with this place. One year later she smiles at her naivety and knows it was for the best. She smiles because she knows that you are her, and you are about to enter the best four years of your life.