Childhood’s Departure- Day Nine of NaPoWriMo 2022

Words,

spread across scraps of paper

half-filled diaries

margins of textbooks

Words of encouragement

Words of wisdom

Words dripping in disgust

Words laced in venom

Words for others

Words for myself

Past, present, future.

My younger self was quite the writer.

 

My younger self was a lot of things.

 

Talented and witty,

Sparkling with eyes full of wonder

She was very much herself,

despite not knowing who that was

She was resilient, invincible

and proud of it.

 

And then there’s me

The one that thinks too much

yet knows too little

Things are always in sight

and out of my reach

Broken and tired

Stretched far too thin

I no longer wish to be strong.

I no longer wish to hurt at all.

 

You,

who I have shared a breath with

my entire life.

I don’t know you.

When did we become two different entities?

When did I “grow up”?

But then again,

“Careless” is the new “carefree”

How could I not worry about everything?

How dare I?

 

And yet,

As mindless childhood shows

turn into soothing nostalgia

As delusional optimism

blooms into a realistic view

As I lay a white lily

on the gravestone of my childhood,

a bliss of memories

untainted by adult realities,

I’ll make her a promise.

 

A promise to find a happier version of myself.

A promise to hold on till then.

A promise to withstand this harsh winter.

A promise to remain till the cherry blossoms flower.

A promise to visit her often, if only through my memories.

 

If pain is unavoidable

At least I can give it purpose.

Written by Harshita Khanna for MTTN

Featured image by Jasneet Kalra for MTTN

 

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