PHILOSOPHIES OF LOVE
5/7/2025EROS
The first kind of love was 'eros’, deriving its name from after the Greek god of
fertility, Eros, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks didn’t always think of it as something positive, as we tend to do today. In fact, eros was viewed as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational form of love that could consume you and possess you. The involved loss of control is what frightened the Greeks. Which is odd, because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don’t we all hope to fall “madly” in love? The modern word, “erotic love” always takes its origin from the word Eros. This form of love gave birth to popular phrases like “Love at first sight” and “Cupid’s arrow”. The Ancient Greek philosopher Plato developed an idealistic concept of Eros, according to him physical attraction wasn’t what that defined
Eros but that it could be diverted to philosophy rather than dissipated in sexuality. The main characteristic of Eros being permanent aspiration and desire was the only similarity this modern take of Eros held with the original Greek idea as the term grew later on to be inclusive to other ideas.
While modern psychologists like Freud shared his view which didn’t mistake Eros for libido but instead viewed it as our life force with the idea being more similar to the view presented in the Symposium where Plato described Eros as a universal force that moves all things towards peace, perfection and divinity. Meanwhile Carl Jung viewed Eros as a feminine principle and considered logos to be masculine. This gendering is a consequence of Jung’s theory of anima/animus syzygy of the human psyche. Syzygy refers to the split between male and female with anima (in men) and animus (in women). Although initially it may take form of passionate love, it is more truly a desire for “psychic relatedness”.
AGAPE
Unrestricted, unrestrained and unconditional, Agape derived from Ancient
Greek agápē is described as “the highest form of love,charity” and “the love of
God for humans and the love of humans for God”. According to the New Testament, Agape refers to the covenant love of God for human beings as well as the human reciprocal. With time, some contemporary writers have sought to
extend the use of Agape into non-religious contexts. Agape has been expounded by many Christian writers in a specifically Christian context. C.S Lewis uses Agape in The Four Loves to describe Agape as what he believes to be the highest variety of love known to humanity: a selfless love that is passionately committed
to the well being of others. Agape chooses an act of self service to serve the recipient. While Agape is volitional, phileo is emotional. Instead of comparing it as a form of human love it can be put under the heading of divine love. Agape is the virtue that surpasses all others and is in fact a prerequisite for all others.
PHILAUTIA
Self-love is a concept that frequents our daily conversation and social media feeds with brands and popular media promoting it amongst the masses. Very early on, the Greeks understood the simple yet important concept that in order to care for others we must first learn to care for ourselves. As Aristotle very rightly
put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.” The ancient Greeks very quick to understand that like other things in this world, Philautia too, has two sides. The first is associated with negative attributes and traits like narcissism which is centered on a destructive self-centered approach to life. The second form is the healthier side which in fact
offers one a way out of narcissism. It stresses on placing a firm belief on
one’s own worth instead of letting outside opinions shape self worth. Philautia shares the Buddhist philosophy of “self-compassion” which though might sound simple but it’s actually a deep understanding that dawns on one only after they have felt comfortable in their own skin, and have developed a sense of love and admiration for oneself. This form of love promotes ideas that allows one to be their most real version out there while also allows them to discover themselves on
this journey of self love. "Dopamine menu" is a modern term that allows one to indulge in Philautia. It basically means activities that allow one to connect with their own self while taking the best care of themselves. Philautia is certainly a form of love that is gaining prominence in today’s fast paced yet disconnected world.
STORGE
Storge pronounced as "stor-jay" loosely translates to 'affection' which is synonymous with the warm, cozy and reliable love we feel towards our family members and also what we extend to our close friends. Simply put it refers to the natural or instinctual affection such as a parent’s love for their offspring. Just like a huge banyan tree, storge grows to encompass affection one might feel towards their close friends, extended family and even their pets. Another popular interpretation for storge is to be used to talk about love between married partners who view friendship and loyalty as keystones defining their relationship. Popular tropes such as 'friends to lovers' that frequent our favourite romance novels as the main theme is another great expression for this form of love. Storgic lovers often cannot pinpoint the exact moment their friendship
blossomed into a love story. They place significant importance on trust and loyalty and their motivation in avoiding infidelity lies in their want to preserve trust between them and their partner. This love inherently comes with trust that is given freely and doesn’t have to be earned. This love is successful in providing a safe space where we can be ourselves where there is unconditional acceptance of all our qualities and quirks. Time only serves to deepen and strengthen this precious bond.
LUDUS
Alluding to a playful sort of affection, one inclined more towards a good but short time, Ludus originates from more Latin roots than Greek. This word, which has relations to ‘Ludicrous’, suits the basis of dalliances more than it does a stronger Eros, or a fanatical Mania, although, it does go hand-in-hand with them, in a dance, akin to its very meaning. Indulgence of a softer kind, one which has people tease and sigh, Ludus is more of a game played between those affectionate towards each other. ‘Ludus latrunculorum’ was in fact a game like chess, with intricate rules which make it stimulating, as strategy building requires an understanding. Just as the game ends with custodial capture, the participants have each other’s attention, and a part of them has etched a memory of endearment in their minds. Owing the back and forth which characterizes Ludus, it is often the basis of narrative foils in contemporary and classic literature, alike. A rather unpolished but gripping variety of live, Ludus is often depicted as the rudimentary, the rebound, and the sometimes, even domestic romance. The spontaneity of this variety reflects in Contemporary literature pieces like The Great Gatsby, Bridget Jones’s diary, and the Disney adaptation of The Little Mermaid.
PHILIA
Philia, the root word for one of the commonly used suffixes in the language of Science, is, in fact, the most revered form of affection, unchanged by times' treachery. A familiar love, or the bond shared by the most loyal of companions, often dearer to a person than their own breath, it was used by Achilles to describe what he felt for Patroclus, when he bestowed upon him the title of "Philtatos", a superlative of Philos. The use of derivatives from this word carry the essence of a person so cherished, that the physicality of a relationship bears no weight in balancing it with any other name of love. Philia, in the context of ancient Greek philosophy, carries nuanced implications that extend beyond simple friendship. The term appears prominently in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, where he categorizes philia on the basis of utility, pleasure, and virtue, the last being highest in his order of importance, as they are essential in the search of eudaimonia, or a flourished human life. For Plato, philia also had metaphysical dimensions, as philosophia is essentially a form of philia directed towards truth and knowledge. Moving onto philosophy of stoicism, philia is seen as a rational affection, due to its emphasis on reason and virtuous living, contrasting with Epicureanism, which saw in it the pleasure of tranquility.
PRAGMA
A commitment made out of duty, benefit or a facade of necessity, Pragma is the concrete love one embossed with gold. It is a proof of understanding, and can be more staunch than its emotional counterparts, because it is borne on pen and paper, and nurtured on mutual aims, so to speak. A mature yearning for domesticity, Pragma is felt mostly by working adults, who know to listen and not judge, to see and understand and want to ease. A Pragmatic approach to co-existence, it is no coincidence that it was born and evolved in more recent times, with romanticism donning its tinted shades of cynicism. While the term dates back to the poems of Polybius, which were meant to be instructive, it was taken up as a philosophy by Charles S Pierce, William James, and John Dewey, the last taking an even more scientific approach, which directs it away from the concept of love.
MANIA
Mania not only wishes to be all encompassing, but turns into a tumultuous emotion that renders one insane. It dials up want, reinforces envy, and demands absolution with an air of self-entitlement, but at the very base of its hurricane is an insecure eddy of doubts and confusion. It is poetic, and makes a tragic mess of those who are taken by nerves and soothed by not a person but their possession of which our victim lacks. Back in the day, these expressions of the extreme were seen as a god-send, especially Socrates, who theorized that Mania could be poetic, prophetic, tetelestic or borne out of love. Plato’s explanation on Mania in his dialog of Phaedrus refers to Mania as an expression of religious ecstasy, donned by self aware individuals to strategically construct a public persona of one who is taken by something divine, and thus is untouchable. He also describes Mania as gifts of God’s like Apollo, Dionysius, the muses, Aphrodisiac and Eros, with each gift aligning with the descriptions by Socrates. This parallel between the musings of two philosophers highlights the common symptoms of Maniacal Love, towards similar subjects, thus reinforcing the fact that it was an ailment of the mind, which felt all encompassing and granted a power so uncontrollable to the mind, that it felt omnipotent, but the ends met by everyone in the throes of Mania, are grim enough to serve as warning.
The first kind of love was 'eros’, deriving its name from after the Greek god of
fertility, Eros, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks didn’t always think of it as something positive, as we tend to do today. In fact, eros was viewed as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational form of love that could consume you and possess you. The involved loss of control is what frightened the Greeks. Which is odd, because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don’t we all hope to fall “madly” in love? The modern word, “erotic love” always takes its origin from the word Eros. This form of love gave birth to popular phrases like “Love at first sight” and “Cupid’s arrow”. The Ancient Greek philosopher Plato developed an idealistic concept of Eros, according to him physical attraction wasn’t what that defined
Eros but that it could be diverted to philosophy rather than dissipated in sexuality. The main characteristic of Eros being permanent aspiration and desire was the only similarity this modern take of Eros held with the original Greek idea as the term grew later on to be inclusive to other ideas.
While modern psychologists like Freud shared his view which didn’t mistake Eros for libido but instead viewed it as our life force with the idea being more similar to the view presented in the Symposium where Plato described Eros as a universal force that moves all things towards peace, perfection and divinity. Meanwhile Carl Jung viewed Eros as a feminine principle and considered logos to be masculine. This gendering is a consequence of Jung’s theory of anima/animus syzygy of the human psyche. Syzygy refers to the split between male and female with anima (in men) and animus (in women). Although initially it may take form of passionate love, it is more truly a desire for “psychic relatedness”.
AGAPE
Unrestricted, unrestrained and unconditional, Agape derived from Ancient
Greek agápē is described as “the highest form of love,charity” and “the love of
God for humans and the love of humans for God”. According to the New Testament, Agape refers to the covenant love of God for human beings as well as the human reciprocal. With time, some contemporary writers have sought to
extend the use of Agape into non-religious contexts. Agape has been expounded by many Christian writers in a specifically Christian context. C.S Lewis uses Agape in The Four Loves to describe Agape as what he believes to be the highest variety of love known to humanity: a selfless love that is passionately committed
to the well being of others. Agape chooses an act of self service to serve the recipient. While Agape is volitional, phileo is emotional. Instead of comparing it as a form of human love it can be put under the heading of divine love. Agape is the virtue that surpasses all others and is in fact a prerequisite for all others.
PHILAUTIA
Self-love is a concept that frequents our daily conversation and social media feeds with brands and popular media promoting it amongst the masses. Very early on, the Greeks understood the simple yet important concept that in order to care for others we must first learn to care for ourselves. As Aristotle very rightly
put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.” The ancient Greeks very quick to understand that like other things in this world, Philautia too, has two sides. The first is associated with negative attributes and traits like narcissism which is centered on a destructive self-centered approach to life. The second form is the healthier side which in fact
offers one a way out of narcissism. It stresses on placing a firm belief on
one’s own worth instead of letting outside opinions shape self worth. Philautia shares the Buddhist philosophy of “self-compassion” which though might sound simple but it’s actually a deep understanding that dawns on one only after they have felt comfortable in their own skin, and have developed a sense of love and admiration for oneself. This form of love promotes ideas that allows one to be their most real version out there while also allows them to discover themselves on
this journey of self love. "Dopamine menu" is a modern term that allows one to indulge in Philautia. It basically means activities that allow one to connect with their own self while taking the best care of themselves. Philautia is certainly a form of love that is gaining prominence in today’s fast paced yet disconnected world.
STORGE
Storge pronounced as "stor-jay" loosely translates to 'affection' which is synonymous with the warm, cozy and reliable love we feel towards our family members and also what we extend to our close friends. Simply put it refers to the natural or instinctual affection such as a parent’s love for their offspring. Just like a huge banyan tree, storge grows to encompass affection one might feel towards their close friends, extended family and even their pets. Another popular interpretation for storge is to be used to talk about love between married partners who view friendship and loyalty as keystones defining their relationship. Popular tropes such as 'friends to lovers' that frequent our favourite romance novels as the main theme is another great expression for this form of love. Storgic lovers often cannot pinpoint the exact moment their friendship
blossomed into a love story. They place significant importance on trust and loyalty and their motivation in avoiding infidelity lies in their want to preserve trust between them and their partner. This love inherently comes with trust that is given freely and doesn’t have to be earned. This love is successful in providing a safe space where we can be ourselves where there is unconditional acceptance of all our qualities and quirks. Time only serves to deepen and strengthen this precious bond.
LUDUS
Alluding to a playful sort of affection, one inclined more towards a good but short time, Ludus originates from more Latin roots than Greek. This word, which has relations to ‘Ludicrous’, suits the basis of dalliances more than it does a stronger Eros, or a fanatical Mania, although, it does go hand-in-hand with them, in a dance, akin to its very meaning. Indulgence of a softer kind, one which has people tease and sigh, Ludus is more of a game played between those affectionate towards each other. ‘Ludus latrunculorum’ was in fact a game like chess, with intricate rules which make it stimulating, as strategy building requires an understanding. Just as the game ends with custodial capture, the participants have each other’s attention, and a part of them has etched a memory of endearment in their minds. Owing the back and forth which characterizes Ludus, it is often the basis of narrative foils in contemporary and classic literature, alike. A rather unpolished but gripping variety of live, Ludus is often depicted as the rudimentary, the rebound, and the sometimes, even domestic romance. The spontaneity of this variety reflects in Contemporary literature pieces like The Great Gatsby, Bridget Jones’s diary, and the Disney adaptation of The Little Mermaid.
PHILIA
Philia, the root word for one of the commonly used suffixes in the language of Science, is, in fact, the most revered form of affection, unchanged by times' treachery. A familiar love, or the bond shared by the most loyal of companions, often dearer to a person than their own breath, it was used by Achilles to describe what he felt for Patroclus, when he bestowed upon him the title of "Philtatos", a superlative of Philos. The use of derivatives from this word carry the essence of a person so cherished, that the physicality of a relationship bears no weight in balancing it with any other name of love. Philia, in the context of ancient Greek philosophy, carries nuanced implications that extend beyond simple friendship. The term appears prominently in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, where he categorizes philia on the basis of utility, pleasure, and virtue, the last being highest in his order of importance, as they are essential in the search of eudaimonia, or a flourished human life. For Plato, philia also had metaphysical dimensions, as philosophia is essentially a form of philia directed towards truth and knowledge. Moving onto philosophy of stoicism, philia is seen as a rational affection, due to its emphasis on reason and virtuous living, contrasting with Epicureanism, which saw in it the pleasure of tranquility.
PRAGMA
A commitment made out of duty, benefit or a facade of necessity, Pragma is the concrete love one embossed with gold. It is a proof of understanding, and can be more staunch than its emotional counterparts, because it is borne on pen and paper, and nurtured on mutual aims, so to speak. A mature yearning for domesticity, Pragma is felt mostly by working adults, who know to listen and not judge, to see and understand and want to ease. A Pragmatic approach to co-existence, it is no coincidence that it was born and evolved in more recent times, with romanticism donning its tinted shades of cynicism. While the term dates back to the poems of Polybius, which were meant to be instructive, it was taken up as a philosophy by Charles S Pierce, William James, and John Dewey, the last taking an even more scientific approach, which directs it away from the concept of love.
MANIA
Mania not only wishes to be all encompassing, but turns into a tumultuous emotion that renders one insane. It dials up want, reinforces envy, and demands absolution with an air of self-entitlement, but at the very base of its hurricane is an insecure eddy of doubts and confusion. It is poetic, and makes a tragic mess of those who are taken by nerves and soothed by not a person but their possession of which our victim lacks. Back in the day, these expressions of the extreme were seen as a god-send, especially Socrates, who theorized that Mania could be poetic, prophetic, tetelestic or borne out of love. Plato’s explanation on Mania in his dialog of Phaedrus refers to Mania as an expression of religious ecstasy, donned by self aware individuals to strategically construct a public persona of one who is taken by something divine, and thus is untouchable. He also describes Mania as gifts of God’s like Apollo, Dionysius, the muses, Aphrodisiac and Eros, with each gift aligning with the descriptions by Socrates. This parallel between the musings of two philosophers highlights the common symptoms of Maniacal Love, towards similar subjects, thus reinforcing the fact that it was an ailment of the mind, which felt all encompassing and granted a power so uncontrollable to the mind, that it felt omnipotent, but the ends met by everyone in the throes of Mania, are grim enough to serve as warning.
Authors:
Editors:
Dhriti Bharadwaj
Writing