Quiet is Violent – Day Ten of NaPoWriMo 2022

You say I’m feeble

I stay quiet

Here we go again,

The same routine.

You in hiding,

I, confused.

This vicious circle of you and I,

The words unsaid

With a fatal silence

too loud to be interrupting.

You say I’m liquid

I stay quiet

You pull me in; I push you away.

You call me near, I stay.

You reach out your hand; I smack it down.

My actions say leave, but I can’t breathe if you’re not around.

I scream inaudible sounds; you close your ears in silence.

Do you hear me calling for help? Do you even care?

You hold me in your arms, grasp so tight I can’t break free.

You win this time.

I break down…

…Finally.

You say I’m toxic

I stay quiet

The tears, oh how they flow, as if stream to an ocean.

Why am I crying?

For reasons undisclosed, for moments left unsaid.

I wipe, I wipe

They don’t stop! Just keep coming.

Eyes all dried out, head on my pillow,

another night I cry myself to sleep.

You say I’m always in a rush

I stay quiet

The rush was what I felt when your memory resounded in my head.

The flight of the butterflies within my bones.

The tingle that surged right down to my toes.

The chill that overtook me when someone mentioned your name.

The rush is the only thing that remains

You say my love is choking

I stay quiet

Mind.

Words swirling begging to be spoken.

Thoughts.

Jumbled on the paper asking to be taken notice of,

to be communicated, to be understood, to be felt.

To be taken seriously, but not personally.

Not to be taken to the extreme, now to become yours,

to be twisted, turned against, and then thrown in my face.

To be cradled, to be shown kindness, to be loved.

Heart.

Where that feeling is felt, where the thoughts begin.

Love.

The only thing anyone yearns for.

So,

when you say that

my silence overpowers our relation

that this is too violent for you

I stay quiet

Written by Ridhima Sharma for MTTN

Featured Artwork by Shivika Saraogi for MTTN