Five Stages, One Loss
Seven days, and it still seems so unreal
How could you be gone?
I’ve relived the moment I found out over and over again,
Yet nothing makes sense.
I’ve tried piecing it all together,
And I know you’re in a better place now.
But you can’t be gone.
I go back to the moment when I heard of you –
With tears and confusion taking me over
I remember feeling lost, hoping I misheard it.
Another week goes by,
And I don’t know how things changed this fast
I read about this, I was sure I’d never feel it
How could I ever be mad at you?
Now, I know I’m not. But it hurts that you left
Again, I know you had to and this ‘rage’, it isn’t me.
But I’m not myself without you either.
Days pass, and I’m begging –
Pleading for a chance to see you again, to hug you again.
Pictures, memories, and dreams won’t do;
There’s so much more I need to tell you
I’d do it all over again, and differently.
I’d give almost anything to see you again.
What was almost a normal day changed my life forever,
Yet now I still go about my day normally.
I’ve lost one of the biggest parts of me
But this is what you’d want, for me to carry on.
For us to carry on.
The hollow feeling I thought I had filled, well it’s back.
“It’s okay, life has to go on,” that’s what you’d tell me
The thought of you is the only thing that’s getting me through.
Too many things realized far too late,
I know you’ll still be waiting for me at heaven’s gate.
No matter what, you’ll always be one of my hardest goodbyes
Looking back at pictures, to moments frozen in time
Coming back to an empty house, a little part of me dies.
All I want to do is thank you for holding on for so long
I know this isn’t remotely enough to tell you how much I love you,
But I’ll always hope that I can tell you again.
So until then, say hi to grandpa for me, grandpa.
– Karthika Venugopal for MTTN
– Featured Image Courtesy: Anmol Rathi